Spaghetti, Fettuccine, and Veal

Okay so, there’s no veal in this post...but this is....ADVENTURES IN PASTA MAKING....PRIMA PARTE (part one for those that don’t speak Italian)

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Yo.

Did you know that pasta as we know it....didn’t originate in Italy?? It started in North Africa...probably like Morocco or Libya. Brazy right? Google it, before someone gets mad for thinking I’m lying.


I learned from my stint at America’s favorite chain “Italian” restaurant, that PASTA AND NOODLES ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, OKAY. PUT SOME RESPECK ON IT. It’s like....how a square can be a rectangle but a rectangle can’t be a square type thing. Pasta is *typically* made from durum wheat/semolina flour which is courser with some water, maybe some egg, and rolled out into sheets...Noodles are usually made from more common wheat...this is like...a very broad and brief description. Look it up more if your interested because the Googles is free!

I love pasta, and I love noodles okay? ALMOST as much as I love rice. Almost. Not quite though. Soup? Sauce? Veggies? Meat? Like bub. You can literally have just some butter and salt and pepper on pasta (and rice, and noodles) and be happy AND full. We are accustomed to our beloved dried pasta that you can get for a dollar a pound at like....anywhere now a days. Pretty sure I’ve seen pasta at the gas station. But you know what’s better than dried pasta? Fresh pasta. You know what’s better than fresh pasta? The fact you only need four ingredients that I’m 99% sure you have in your pantry or cabinets or...cupboards....? Why don’t we say cupboards in America? Such a nice word. Anyway you only need four ingredients, really technically only two but we not doing that, to make pasta at home.

Fresh pasta has a certain...I don’t know...it’s more than just a flavor difference because that’s obviously part of it. I’m big on mouthfeel (giggity) and the bite of fresh pasta. It’s texture, is what drew me to wanting to try making my own. I also have been really bored because of my fingers (two more weeks and I’ll pretty much be back to normal) and was like hey, ima make some pasta and it’ll be good for my hand to get some exercise right? This happened, but I probably over worked my hand. Whatever. Pain is a part of life.

Anyway, make some fucking pasta if you want. This will probably be like two or three posts because although my pasta was fantastic for my first time at home, it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. You can even make some not so basic bitch shrimp or chicken “Alfredo” like I did, but don’t worry I won’t judge you for not making your sauce from scratch....*in my Ina voice*, jarred/canned works just fine too.

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I put Alfredo in quotations because technically I made a loose Béchamel...but now that I think about it I made like an Alfredo Béchamel love child hybrid. BUT WHATEVER, BACK TO THE PASTA YALL BOY.

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Ingredients:


2 cups of all purpose flour for dough
1 cup AP flour for dusting and in case you mess up and your dough is too wet
3-4 large eggs
Some olive oil
1/2 teaspoon or so of salt
Rolling pin OR a bottle of wine.

okay just have a bottle of wine regardless.

Not pictured: salt and olive oil.

Make a deep well in your flour fam.

Seriously though, eggs are beautiful.

So here you’ll see I have three egg yolks. Just separate your whites but KEEP THEM. Use em for a lot of stuff. I ended up adding one extra egg yolk AND three whites, BUT i don’t think I will use the whites at all next time.

Egg yolks go in the well

Okay, so. You want to basically scramble your eggs into the flour. Slowly, start incorporating the flour into the eggs, but don’t break your lil flour wall until your eggs and flour are mixed together. I couldn’t take pictures at this point because, well...flour and egg hands. Somonce your eggs and flour start to form, lose the fork and use your hands to bring in more flour each time until you start to form a dough. If your dough is crumbly, add a SMALL amount of water maybe a teaspoon at a time. If it’s too wet (sticking to your hands and countertop) add a teaspoon of flour. Continue to knead your dough until it has a satiny texture. It should be fir, but still pliable. Most recipes I found said about 8-10minutes, but I did mine a bit longer since my one hand don’t work right at the moment.

Doughy ball of goodness.

My dough looks wet here, but that’s because when it’s good and incorporated, you want to rub a small bit of olive oil all over it. This will help it from drying out. Wrap it in plastic wrap and let it rest for at least 30 minutes. You can put it in the fridge if you want, I kept mine at room temperature because I keep my house fairly cold. I’d suggest taking it out for a few minutes before you roll it out if you do put it in the fridge.

What shape is this?

Flour your work surface evenly, flour your hands, and flour your rolling pin or wine bottle. I floured my knife blade as well. Cut into your dough and make four pieces. Make those four pieces into a ball, and one by one, roll them as flat as you can and roll em out evenly. Flip the dough over, turn it around...If dough sticks to your pin or surface, add a little more flour to them but NOT to your dough. Once it’s flat, cut your dough into whatever shape you want.

Okay so at this point, my hand was cramping and I was hungry so I cut a little unevenly but whatever. Judge me.

IT IS TIME TO COOK YOUR PASTA. Boiling water, salted. Drop your pasta in (shake the flour off) and it shouldn’t take more than 3-5 minutes to be al dente. CAUTION-this is FRESH pasta. You can undercook and overcook this waaaay quicker than you can with dried pasta. Let your pasta have bite, but not be hard. You don’t want it chewy either. Keep an eye on it. Strain it, eat it. Dassit!

Basic Bitch / Pick Me Meal.

Aight so check it. Here are some notes I’m taking into account for my next try at pasta next week:::

1. ​I’m only going to use egg yolks. I think for two cups of flour I’ll use four egg yolks.
2. My pasta had great bite, but I didn’t add the full 1/2 teaspoon of salt since I also salt my water, so I will try that next.
3. Probably need to shake more flour off of the pasta once it’s cut from some of the stuff I’ve been researching
4. THIS SHIT BOILS OVER QUICKER THAN DRIED PASTA. TURN THE POT DOWN A LIL TEETEE ONCE YOU PUT THE PASTA IN OKAY?!

That’s all y’all boy. Try it out, let me know what you think of this post and how your pasta comes out! Stay tuned as I try to perfect pasta at home Lulz. Stay Mixxy!